Get off my lawn, you crazy kids!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 9:00AM There's the old parable about the frog and the boiling water that goes something like this: put a frog in boiling water, and it will jump right out. Put him in room temperature water, slowly raise the temp, and he will stay in until he dies. Not being a sadist, I haven't tried it myself, but the example serves nicely to illustrate my take on the overwhelming crowds of middle school kids that descend on DC every spring.
It's not that I don't see them, swarming around like flies on... er, well, I see them, OK? But, I guess I kind of just take them for granted, a seasonal nuisance like our sweltering summers and unshoveled sidewalks in winter. But as I've started to notice a trend on comments and feedback I've received from my visitors, both in person and on-line, I've reevaluated the effect hordes of kids have on seeing DC. While it's something I've mentioned before, it appears to be a greater negative on people's experience than I've previously taken into account.
Can't say I blame you folks. While I'd ask you to remember that most groups of eighth graders are not the ones running and jumping and acting inappropriately at National Memorials, there's enough of them that a small percentage of misbehaving kids ends up being a large number in absolute terms. Short of inventing a high pitch siren that only eighth graders can hear and will make them run like dogs, here are some tips to get what you can out of your trip without resorting to out and out violence, as satisfying as that might be in the short term.
1. I'm assuming that spring is your only option. If not, come in the fall. The weather is roughly the same and the school groups are a small fraction of the spring peak. Summer is hot and crowded, although with families, not school groups. Winter is cold and wet, but relatively empty if you are looking to see indoor attractions such as museums.
2. Try to see Memorials early in the morning. I find the FDR and Jefferson particularly nice at dawn, before the crowds arrive. It's quite a pleasant walk along the tidal basin if you can make it there before ten or so.
3. Same with the Zoo, hit as much as possible before the buildings open at 10 AM. The zoo grounds open at 7 and the animals are generally a lot more active in the morning. As an aside, I was there one day when it was 33 degrees out, and the pandas were cavorting about like otters on meth. Incidentally, I know it was 33 degrees as my friend I was with updated me every three to five minutes about it.
4. Conversely, if you are a night owl, you can hit the memorials; especially Lincoln, Korea, Vietnam, and WWII; at night. But I do mean at night. If you go at eight, it's going to look as if it's a poorly controlled casting call for High School Musical. Wait until at least ten. Walking along the reflecting pool at midnight can be a solemn and introspective experience, and I find Abe to be at his wisest at two in the morning.
5. If you are seeing anything that requires a ticket (Washington Monument, Ford's, Capitol, etc.) plan ahead. Having tickets in hand reduces quite a bit of stress.
6. Under no conditions plan on lunch at Union Station, Pentagon City, Old Post Office, or Reagan Building. They're going to be swamped. I strongly recommend going up the tower at the Old Post Office, but see it mid-morning or mid-afternoon.
7. Here's a standard list of items on an typical eighth grade itinerary. Be warned: they're going to be crowded!
Arlington National Cemetery
Lincoln. Korea, Vietnam Memorials
Jefferson and FDR Memorials
Smithsonian's (Air and Space, Natural History, American History)
Mt. Vernon
Capitol Building
White House photo stop
National Archives
8. Even at these spots, there are hidden gems the kids will never get to. For example, at Mt. Vernon, skip the mansion and spend your time exploring the grounds, especially the Pioneer Farmer site. At Arlington, the Changing of the Guard is great, but often a quiet walk off the beaten path can help you feel the enormity of the experience better than fighting for position with middle schoolers.
9. There are great sights begging for attention. How about the Building Museum? Postal Museum? Cultural Tourism DC is a great place to search for things that might interest you that are off the beaten path.
10. Above all, readjust your expectations. Assume crowds are going to be with you wherever you go. Don't plan on ducking in before them, or waiting it out. This is what DC in spring is like, and it can still be a meaningful experience. But not if you spend your time frustrated with unruly kids. Breathe deeply and let it go. Not for their sake, but for yours.
There is no great single answer for dealing with the kids, but these might help a bit. Now, any leads on that siren?
Reader Comments (2)
I cannot begin to thank you enough. This blog has been a wealth of info for a trip I am planning with 40 high school students in June! I have visited DC by myself and with students before, but this is the first where I am the tour guide! Thank you!
Good luck! Being your own tour guide can be a bit daunting, but most folks survive it without any problems. If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a line.